True friends lift you up when others don't notice you're down
Studies suggest that we become like the five people we spend the most time with, it is therefore vital to consider your friends wisely.
People tend to fall into one of three categories: Draggers, Supporters and Igniters. A great way to categorise your friends is to do the mobile phone test.
If your phone rings, and as the name comes up you are happy to take the call, then this friend is likely to be a Supporter. This lovely group of friends and family cheer you on, tell you you’re wonderful and make you feel good. They listen to you intently and almost always agree with your views. They are interested in you, care about you, and make you feel valued. Although they don’t spark energy in you or bring new ideas, supporters are good people to know.
If your phone rings and as the name comes up you are excited to take the call, then this friend is likely to be an Igniter. These are people who make things happen, going through life taking full responsibility for everything they do. They are alive with curiosity and are open to new experiences. They are successful, creative and are continually looking at ways to make their lives better. When they find a great way of doing something they will tell you about it. When they see something they like about your life they will ask you all about it. The energy is contagious and your energy levels are boosted. Igniters are interested in you, they believe in you, they encourage you and best of all, you are interested in them. Igniters are great people, who make you feel good as they excite and motivate you. Igniters are friends who you should hang out with and hang onto!
If your phone rings and as the name comes up your shoulders drop, you sigh and think I’ll collect some energy and call them back later, then this friend or family member is likely to be a Dragger. Time with the Draggers is often negative and there are very few laughs. The aim of the Dragger (although unintentional) is to make you experience low energy levels as they endeavour to make you understand how bad it feels to be them, and for you to experience the world through their eyes. They are called draggers because they literally drag you down, and the longer you spend with these individuals, the more energy will be drained from you. Your best advise is to say goodbye to these people if you can, however, if that’s not possible try these tips :
- There’s safety in numbers so if you are spending time with a dragger bring positive friends along to dilute the negativity.
- Try putting them in your phone with a funny name/photo if possible such as a cartoon character or Mr Bean to make you smile and lift your mood.
- Don’t reward negative conversation with your time and energy, instead change the subject.
- Be prepared with a conversation changer. Listen and say “Sorry to hear that, but let me tell you the funniest thing that happened to me …”
- Be nice, but distance yourself if necessary.
For you to grow, it is vital that your environment is positive and well-nourished
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