Upgrade Your Life with 12 Core Schemas

Your happiness and outlook are determined by the schemas (beliefs) that you accumulate through your life interpretations and experiences. By choosing to take responsibility for your beliefs by using these 12 core schemas, you will find a better way of seeing the world and creating a more positive foundation for the future.

1. There Is No One Reality

No one will see the world quite like you. No one will have the exact same values, beliefs or opinions as everyone else because they have had different life experiences. Nothing highlights this more than the legal system where two opposing parties can pay millions of pounds in legal fees defending their position as they both believe they are right. They say there are two sides to every story, but in actuality, there are three, each party’s perspective and then what actually happened. We don’t believe what we see, we see what we already believe. The purpose of this core schema is to prevent you from feeling conflict, irritation, frustration and anxiety if someone opposes you or says something that you disagree with or that irritates you. You can remove negativity by acknowledging that may be true in their reality but not yours.

2. Disregard The Doubters

There is only you that will be with you every moment of every day for the rest of your life, therefore other people’s opinions should never dissuade you from fulfilling your goals. You should always disregard the doubters and follow your dreams. After all, you don’t need anyone to approve of your dreams. 

3. Accept Responsibility

The first step is to accept full responsibility for your life. Only when you do this can you then take control of your life. If you don’t take responsibility, then invariably you will pass that responsibility on to other people, and become a part of their dreams and aspirations. Using a car as a metaphor, if you are a passenger, although you’re along for the ride you have no option on the road you take, the scenery you see or where you end up, whereas if you are the driver you can choose your journey, the route and your destination. You gain control and stop being a victim of all the past events and circumstances that may have caused you pain.

4. Anything Is Possible

Believing anything is possible will enable you to go much further than if you close every door to your possible dreams. Understanding that you are capable of anything at all will give you the drive to keep trying. A great example of this is a lady who was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. She lacked social skills and had no media experience whatsoever. Even faced with that adversity, at the age of 48, she became a global superstar. That lady was Susan Boyle. Had she not believed anything was possible, Susan would never have applied for Britain’s Got Talent, and would have given up on all her dreams.

5. Failure Only Exists When You Quit

The only time you fail is if you quit! The reason you are sitting with the lights around you and are able to read in bed at night is thanks to an amazing man who created the electric lightbulb. Thomas Edison had over 10,000 attempts but never gave up, as in his world there was no such thing as failure. Would you keep going after 10,000 attempts to follow your dream? Thank goodness Thomas did or we would be sat in the dark! No matter how many attempts you’ve made, you haven’t failed you’ve simply learnt how not to do something.

Before 1954, it was believed that running a mile in under four minutes was impossible. Then along came Sir Roger Bannister and proved everybody wrong. That year, a further five people also achieved this great accomplishment and that was all down to Roger showing it could be done. Other fine examples of people that never gave up are:

  • J.K. Rowling’s pitch for ‘Harry Potter’ was rejected 12 times before it got accepted.  
  • Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse was rejected more than 300 times before it became a success.
  • Colonel Sanders’ Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) was turned down by 1,009 restaurants before one accepted it.
  • Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first job for being unfit for television.- Stephen King’s first book Carrie was rejected by 30 publishers before it was accepted.


So next time you feel like giving up, remind yourself of all the things you once thought impossible but now seem easy. How many times did you fall down when learning to walk? Can you recall the first time you sat in a driving seat of a car when learning to drive? Or the first day at a new job with so many new tasks to take on board. You have already achieved so many things already in life. Take advice from those above and remember it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop because a winner never quits.

6. It's Never Too Late

The truth is it’s never too late, you’re never too old or too stuck in your ways. You can have and be whatever you want. Mary Berry started her TV career at 75 years young! Colonel Sanders set up KFC at the age of 65! You become what you think about, therefore think of yourself as a victor.

7. Plan Your Life

If you don’t plan your life, you will become destined to become a part of someone else’s plans and what they have planned for you may not be great. Having goals, both small and large, long and short term, and even goals that may seem entirely impossible today will make you far more successful than you ever would be without. Read more about goal-setting.

8. You Are What You Eat

Your body is the vehicle that drives you through your life. Like a car your body needs the correct fuel to run efficiently. It needs fuel for energy it needs fuel to function, for your organs to work well, for your cells to regenerate, for your hair and nails to grow and most importantly, to keep you healthy and able to fight disease. If you don’t put the right fuels into your vehicle, it will run badly or stop working altogether. Put simply: If you eat poorly, you will feel poorly. (Continue reading…)

9. Save Yourself Before You Save the World

There is only you that will be with you 24 hours a day, seven days a week and for the rest of your life, you, therefore, owe it to yourself to put yourself first. We are socially conditioned to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish. However, have you ever considered that if you don’t put yourself first, then that is actually selfish? The fact is if you’re happy and fulfilled then the people closest to you will feel happier. You will be more positive, and nicer to be around. Consider the analogy of an aircraft: When in the safety briefing you are told that if oxygen levels drop down, you should put your own on first before helping others. If you can breathe, you will have the strength to help save and enhance the lives of others.

10. No One Is Born Bad

Whilst this core schema may cause controversy, we ask you to consider that no one is born bad but may have become bad due to circumstances. If anyone treats you badly, it’s because they’ve been badly treated. If someone has bullied you, it’s because they’ve been bullied or are jealous of you. Knowing this, we hope you realise that whoever has treated you badly or been unkind to you,  it wasn’t personal to you, it’s because they are mean and unkind to most people due to their own insecurities inadequacies and potential self-loathing.

11. You Must Give To Receive

If you consider the world to be a mirror, then essentially what you give out will reflect back at you. If you smile, people will smile back, if you laugh uncontrollably people laugh with you, if you give hugs you’ll get hugged, if you give love, you are more likely to be loved in return. On the other hand, if you are negative, you will attract negative people. If you are argumentative, people will argue with you and if you do not value yourself then you will allow yourself to be treated without value. If you find yourself slipping into negative thoughts or behaviours remind yourself, that your world is a mirror and you can ensure through your thoughts and actions that happiness shines on you.

12. You Become What You Think About

The greatest gift we all have as human beings is the capability of transporting ourselves from sadness to happiness in a heartbeat simply by directing our thoughts. If you think about the people who have hurt you, crossed you or irritated you or the things that have gone wrong, or your ailments, then you continue to be a victim to all those people and experiences. The consequences of this are negative emotions such as anger, fear, rage, self-pity and anxiety. You become what you think about, so make efforts to think about things that will empower you and make you the happy person you deserve to be.

Print out the  12 Core Schemas and pin them somewhere you can see them to remind yourself that you have the key to your happiness.