Out of every 100 thoughts you have, you are only aware of about 5 of them!
Just like a computer, our mind has two parts: the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. Your conscious mind is what you’re aware of right now. The thoughts you are actively thinking, the decisions you are making or the book you are reading. It’s the thoughts you have on the surface.
The subconscious mind stores beliefs, schemas and thoughts that you’re not always aware of, but they can still affect you. For example: Let’s say you consciously think, “I’m confident and capable,” but deep down, you have stored the belief, “I’m not good enough.” Your subconscious mind can send messages to your conscious mind, causing conflicts and making it harder for you to feel truly confident. It’s like different programmes running on a computer and causing issues.
Your subconscious mind also shapes your reality based on your beliefs. It’s like a computer programme that operates based on the input it receives. If you have a subconscious belief like, “I’m not worthy of love,” your mind will actively look for evidence to support that belief. It may overlook signs of love and care from others because it’s focused on finding proof that aligns with what it already believes. This can affect your perception of reality and influence your experiences.
Similarly, if you have a subconscious belief that driving is dangerous because of a past traumatic experience involving a car, it can significantly impact your conscious thoughts and behaviours. It can create anxiety and fear even at the thought of driving, similar to error messages popping up on a computer screen. You might doubt your abilities, feel uneasy on the road, and reinforce negative thoughts that make you avoid driving altogether. This can limit your freedom and opportunities. Your subconscious mind keeps reminding you of that past trauma, creating a cycle of negative thoughts that reinforce your avoidance.
Reprogramming Your Mind
The great news is that, just like with a computer, we have the ability to uninstall programmes and overwrite negative beliefs or schemas with positive ones. Just as you can remove unwanted software from a computer and replace it with new, beneficial programmes, you can do the same with your mind. Firstly you must create a timeline:
- Write a timeline of your life. Add as many events as possible starting with your earliest memory. Don’t worry about the number of pages you fill; just let your thoughts flow and write down everything that comes to mind.
- Positive events might include moments of personal achievement, joyful celebrations, special milestones, or heartwarming experiences with loved ones.
- Negative events might include times when you felt sad, anxious, angry or confused.
- One by one reflect on each negative event and assess its impact on how you feel today. Assign a score on a scale of zero to ten, with zero indicating no negative effect and ten representing intense anxiety or an adverse reaction.
- If you scored anything as a six or higher, it means that those events might have created schemas or negative beliefs that you have stored away in your subconscious mind that still affect you now. But don’t worry! You can work on changing how you see those events to make them less upsetting.
How To Positively Condition Negative Schemas or Beliefs
To change the way you think about negative thoughts or beliefs stored in your mind, you need to look at each event as it truly was, not just how it felt to you back then. Imagine you’re watching a movie of your past, like an outside observer, and not getting caught up in the emotions.
Think about how you react when your friends have a problem. You may feel upset for them, but since it’s not your personal issue, you can comfort them and move on without holding onto any emotional attachment. Similarly, by becoming a third-party observer of your own past events, you can start to let go of the strong emotions and feelings attached to them.
As you review each event on your timeline, ask yourself these five questions:
- Was it personal? Did someone do something mean or unkind specifically to you, or were they just generally unkind to everyone? If it wasn’t about you personally, maybe the person who made you feel bad had their own struggles or difficulties that influenced their behaviour.
- Was it an accident? Sometimes bad things happen by chance, without anyone intending for them to occur.
- What did you learn? Did the event make you stronger, wiser, or more compassionate? Did it teach you something valuable that you can use in your life?
- Did any good come from it? Did the event make you more charitable or understanding of others? Sometimes difficult experiences can shape us into more empathetic and caring individuals.
- What actually happened? Describe the event without letting your emotions cloud your judgment. Stick to the facts and what occurred, without adding any emotional interpretations.
By reflecting on these questions, you can gain a clearer perspective on each event and start to see them in a more objective and less emotional light.
So, just as cleaning a computer gets rid of junk files and improves its functionality, cleaning our minds helps us feel happier, more confident, and better equipped to navigate life’s challenges. It allows us to create space for positive thoughts and beliefs, leading to a healthier and more balanced state of mind, just like a well-maintained computer.
Now while this might sound easy in black and white, it can be challenging to address past events that continue to cause us anxiety or pain. If you find yourself needing help and support in overcoming such hurdles, please take a look at how Trauma Research Uk can help: Support Services