Worrying is something we all do at times, whether it’s about loved ones, how others see us, or our health. It’s a normal part of life and can even push us to step out of our comfort zones. But when worrying becomes constant, taking over our thoughts every day, it’s not good for us. While a little worry here and there is okay and can motivate us, too much can really weigh us down.
Worrying can affect your:
Of course, worry can also greatly increase your anxiety.
There are many techniques out there that can help distract you from your worries but at the end of the day, it is really important to consider the origin of what is causing you worry. A great question to ask is;
“Is it real in the world, or is it just real to me?”
What we mean by that is, have you actually got lots of life challenges going on right now that the majority of people would find challenging, or are you over-worrying in a situation that others would generally take in their stride?
Worry – just like anxiety – is like having a phobia, or OCD. It is a symptom and there is a learned behaviour behind that which is medically known as a schema or a cognitive thought process. It is this which creates the reference that drives your behaviour.
So if you are an over-worrier, you need to ask yourself, why do you worry excessively?
What are the origins of worrying so much?
- First, a common source of excessive worrying is learned behaviour, often picked up from parents who are also chronic worriers. Just like we pick up accents from those around us, we can also inherit worry habits. If this rings true for you, question whether your parent’s worrying actually improved their lives, and remind yourself that the worry you’re feeling might not even be your own—it could be inherited from them.
- Another origin of worry can be the fear of criticism, often stemming from past experiences of being criticised by authority figures like teachers, bosses, parents, or partners. Challenge these beliefs by asking yourself if these people truly had the right to judge you and whether you still want their opinions to influence you. Shift your focus to the present and evaluate situations based on current circumstances rather than past criticisms.
- Some individuals worry excessively due to previous tumultuous experiences, even if those experiences are no longer relevant. For instance, a difficult childhood filled with constant challenges can engrain a habit of worrying about things going wrong in the future. Counter this by examining the evidence objectively and putting things into perspective.
- Lastly, excessive worry can also stem from having too much unoccupied time. When our brains lack constructive engagement, they tend to generate negative thoughts and behaviours. Just like a muscle, our brains thrive on activity, and if not given positive stimuli, they may latch onto worries and amplify them. Keep your mind occupied with constructive activities to prevent worries from spiralling out of control.
10 Pratical steps to reduce worrying?
- Establish a designated “worry period” at the same time every day and allocate yourself 20 minutes to address your worries during this time.
- Make a list of your worries to take them out of your mind and gain a different perspective. Reviewing this list later can show that many worries never materialize, providing evidence to ease future worries.
- Determine if each worry is solvable. If it is, devise a strategy and commit to it.
- Be mindful of your environment and the people you surround yourself with. Negative company can exacerbate worrying, so seek out optimistic and constructive individuals.
- Choose confidants wisely. Only share your worries with those who offer positive and helpful advice, avoiding discussions with chronic worriers or negative individuals.
- Engage in positive distractions or hobbies to occupy your time constructively and find fulfilment.
- Create a daily to-do list of achievable tasks to cultivate a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
- Assess the reality of your worries. If a problem lacks a solution, dwelling on it only breeds fear and frustration. Challenge pessimistic thoughts and seek a more positive and realistic perspective.
- Evaluate the likelihood of your worries coming true and consider alternative, more favourable outcomes.
- Question the usefulness of worrying and its impact on your well-being. Consider how you would advise a friend in a similar situation and apply that wisdom to yourself.
By implementing these strategies, you can gain better control over your worrying and create a more positive outlook on life.
